1995
Today I found out my grade for social studies is an A! Yea!
I like Tom so much! Today I was correcting his paper and he leaned over me while I was talking. It was sooo cool. And I went to the Roosevelt Market today, and purposefully rode my bike in front of him. He saw my bag and walked over to me and asked what was in it. I told him money. I wanted to talk to him, but a car was coming so I had to ride away. He was wearing his vans (cool), purple sweats (yuk!), green turtleneck (cool), anamaniacs tshirt (yuk). His face was red (don't know why). Hair was loose!
1997
Finally... a new diary instead of that old P.O.S. Right now I'm watching My So-Called Life. The best show.
I went to the grocery store and put on some Charlie White perfume. It reeks, though. I get to talk to him today. I hope Cody's not too suicidal for not seeing Kari for 6 days. Pobrecito. Not. I hate Fiona Apple. I'm hungry. Shaq is on TV for pepsi. Pepsi's nasty. Charlie thinks pepsi & coke are the same. I'm hungry. Charlie loves my last name. He remembers it easily because it sounds like "slaughtered." Hmm. I never thought about that before Charlie White. Now we know what he has on his mind 24/7.
I just got off the phone with Charlie! I loved it because I called and talked to his mom for a second, and she said when he got home from he mall he said, "did she call yet? Did she call yet?" Now that's what I like to hear. He's a sweetheart, I'm calling him tomorrow. Then hopefully I'll be seeing him Sunday? Nah, don't count on it. I should probably be paying attention to this movie. Some guy is shrieking, why, I cannot say.
Songs that remind me of Charlie:
#1: "Doin' Time" - Su-Blime
#2: "Burritos" -Su-Blime
#3: "Butterfly" - Mariah Carey
#4: "How Do I Live?" - LeAnn Rimes
I am now watching The Relic again. Charlie would like it.. There are a lot of shots of decapitated people. I mean, a lot. Oh shit the phone's ringing. That scares me! This movie is scary and the lead girl's a loser. The guy that died was smoking a joint. I watched a magic show with sluts in it. It was awesome. Magic!
1998
6:42 pm
Andrew's birthday. On Thursday I cooked and went to Becky's for dinner. The whole family was there including Uncle Juan & Cousin Angie & her fiancee and his 17 year old Jeff and 10 year old Jake. On Friday I woke up early and went with Rose, Skye, Becky, Joxu, Angie, Jim, Jeff, & Jake to the condo. Joxu reminds me of Charlie so much it's scary. He looks like him, dresses like him, acts like him, talks like him, and they live across the street from each other. I really am beginning to miss having a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend who doesn't go to my school, I don't think. Well, I guess if he drove it would be okay. I don't like that when I was with Jeremiah I never saw him. But then again, no one at my school's even worth going out with. So I can't meet guys anywhere; where would I meet someone I like who actually likes me, too? God I hate this. I'm so jealous of Katherine and Joxu and even Stacie & Ben, even though she doesn't take advantage of their relationship. I wish I had a boyfriend, just so I could see if I could be different somehow. But I bet I'll be really single for the rest of 9th grade. I think it was just luck that I found Charlie when I did. Because now I have no way to meet people, to be introduced to someone. This is okay. Maybe (probably) I'll just go back to my little Joe Obsession. That sucks, I don't need to like him. I need to get out more. If only someone like Ben Affleck or Todd would have some punk rocker friend they could let me have. I'm so sick of complaining. Today yes today I went snowboarding at Brundage and jammed my thumb. It hurts. I'm very done. & bored.
1999
Finally I'm on the plane back to Boise. So... that's funny about how I was talking about Sam. He's a funny guy.
So the bowling thing, that's my big ego talking like seeing Trevor will be that easy. Of course, anyone who truly knows me knows I'm just trying to be cool about he whole thing. So, I'm busy thinking up ways to get over him!
Getting over Trevor, the most exciting thing in the world. So what should I do? The only thing I can come up with that would actually work would be finding a replacement. I can't think of anyone I'd like to go out with, or anyone who would like to go out with me. So unless I begin searching (which is completely stupid, not a way to meet anyone worthwhile), I probably won't find anyone. So that's OOTQ. And that's the only thing I can come up with. Bullshit! Hey, maybe I can come up with an issue of Teen Magazine with "10 Ways To Get Over Him." I'm sure there's an article identical to that in every issue. My friends will never be able to help. Sam thinks it's bullshit that I'm still "hooked on him." After what, 5 months after the "big breakup"? Oh well. It does sound stupid, we were together for a week and then it was completely over, 5 months ago. So I don't think I'll ever bring it up to him again, it was a mistake to in the first place. What was I thinking? Brittany feels bad for me, and Kari has no idea how bad it is. And then she probably compares it to her and KC, which was far more serious. Maybe Stacie can help. She's nice and caring and non-judgmental. I'll ask her for advice. Although I don't need advice, I just need it to work out. I'm so tired of this! Because I would really love to be able to go somewhere where I know I'll see Trevor, and not have to get evil butterflies before I get there, and not be able to look at him, and not have to put on an "I'm so happy to see you!" facade like he does so well. I'd rather it be sincere. He probably feels like he has to pretend to like me. What an ass, I'd rather he didn't. So I think bowling would be fun if I didn't have to do all those things. Or at least if I was completely not into him. And we could hang out at bowling, and that would be the extent of our hanging out. So I'm going to be very impressed with myself if I can pull that off. It's going to be extremely difficult, but if I do it, it will give me one less worry, and that would be a huge relief.
2007
things I’ve done recently, cool or otherwise
Begun to wear tons of slips. Kind of like the urban outfitter years.
Smoked two packs of unfiltered lucky strikes and do not miss them now that they are gone.
Spent $80 at savers. This includes a pair of old polyester bootcut ski pants, the kind with the suspenders. And a sick brown leather bomber jacket which makes me look pretty fat when I stuff the pockets.
Excited for the freezing cold of winter.
Listened to a lot of Pat Benetar.
Wore so much purple.
Kissed two hot girls at once. I may have been groped.
Played spin the bottle, finally, after 23 years.
Said "this is not my beautiful life" about 50 times per day.
Helped 7 others consume 12 bottles of wine.
Wanted to have consistent sex.
Bought a tape of Paula Abdul dance remixes.
Decided never to buy trashy icecream again.
And just wondering, is this good enough?
